How to train your demon

This story is part of "Demon Appreciation Week" in honor of Kylie's birthday.



How to train a demon:

1). Catch demon—remember very young demons of a low echelon are best. The big/powerful ones will just kill you. (see tutorial on how to catch a demon. Under no circumstances ever should you buy a demon off ebay or through a third party broker. This always ends in running and screaming. Actually, most dealings with demons end with running and screaming. Dealing with demons is stupid.)

2)Congratulation on catching your demon and not dying. Give your demon a name and a safe place to stay (safe for you. Use iron, but don’t collar your demon with iron unless you want them to be in pain. An angry demon is a dangerous demon. Actually, any demon is a dangerous demon.)

3)Win the demon’s trust, while showing him/her who’s boss. Remember, give a demon an inch and they’ll kill you. Oreo cookies go very far with demons. So do brightly colored hard boiled eggs. Don’t strike your demon, but you can raise your voice—a little. You probably don’t want to threaten him though…

4)Oh, you’re still here? Most people don’t last this far (heck, most don’t last past catching one. Dealing with demons is just plain stupid.)

5)When the demon turns on you, act very, very sorry. Hopefully, you gave the demon lots of cookies and love and didn’t hit or hurt him. If so, you won’t be reading this because you’ll be dead. If not, you can hope that maybe the demon will keep you as a pet and show you the same respect you showed him…

6) I told you dealing with demons was stupid.

4 comments:

Alyss said...

Well done Suzanne! I loved it! Very funny. :) And... mwahahahaha... I'm FIRST! ;) Na na na na naaa na.

thewriteaholicblog said...

Very nice indeed! Short, sweet and funny.

thewriteaholicblog said...

Very nice indeed! Short, sweet and funny.

nastyromo said...

Love this story! It's like the first page of a pop-up book!