On Being Supermom – Part II: What do you want out of life?

I’m not really “supermom”, though do I hope my tot thinks I’m a “super mom.”

I don’t have it all.

My life is terribly, horribly complicated.

But I’m happy.

Why?

Because I know what I want out of life. I know what’s realistic. I know what’s attainable with hard work. I am working hard to make those things a reality, all while keeping in perspective.

You can too.

It’s not impossible to work a day job, be a good wife and mom, and write (or craft or dance or whatever your passion is).

Is it hard work?

Youbetcha.

But it’s not impossible.

The first part is knowing what you want out of life. What things are important to you?

For me it was:
1) My hubby and family
2) Achieving my dreams of publishing a book
3) Keeping up with my career and professional goals
4) Making the championship level for Irish Dance
5) Getting my PhD

Keeping an immaculate house is nowhere on this list, because for me it’s not a priority, but it might be for you—and that’s okay. Being rich and famous isn’t on the list either. Sure, not having to worry about anything would be nice, but it’s not as important to me as my family. For me it’s a bonus, not a priority.

Your list should be prioritized, as well. If it came down to my job and my family – or even writing and my family, my family would come first. They are so important to me and they, especially the hubby, are so supportive of me and my dreams.

Part of achieving balance is also knowing that sometimes your list grows and changes – and that’s okay, too.

Five years ago, #4 was *so* important to me. Now, well, I still love to dance, the girlz in my class are my muses and cheerleaders. But I haven’t competed in over a year and I’m coming to terms with the fact that maybe I’ll never achieve that goal. But I’m not 19 anymore and I’ve tried my best. If #4 drops off the list completely in the near future, I’ll think be okay with that.

Your time isn’t infinite. As I became closer and closer to #2, my time for #4 dwindled. There is a direct collation between what you put in and what you put out whether it’s dance, writing, or anything else.

Also, your resources (probably) aren’t infinite either. So whereas one day I’d love to achieve #5, that’s not going to happen any time soon – but I am determined that it will one day and I keep that in the background.

So when you really look at it, my list comes down to:
1) My hubby and family
2) Achieving my dreams of publishing a book
3) Keeping up with my career and professional goals

Every day, I spend some time with my hubby and family – even if it’s just watching a TV show on the couch with the hubby after the tot goes to bed, going grocery shopping with the tot, or reading that bed time story even though I’m tired. Little things add up. I write, every day, though during the week, I’m lucky if I get an hour in, but I still write. Every week day, I go to work. I really love my job (though not the commute), though work is reserved for weekdays during business hours and I’m grateful to finally have a job where I can spend weekends and evenings with my family.

Try to something that makes you happy everyday –write for 30 min, spend some time in the garden, look at knitting patterns. It doesn’t need to be a lot of time – 30 min (or even 10) is fine. Really, 30 min is painless when you think about; it’s one less TV show, a little less time on twitter, etc. Remember, if mommy’s not happy, no one’s happy.

Also, make your list. What’s most important to you? What do you want out of life? What makes you happy?

If you have a hubby and family, make a little time for them every day, too (or your puppy or your SO, or starting your own business, or what/whoever is at the top of that list.) Again, this might mean something else has to go – but the trick is, not having it all, but what you want (and need), then figuring out how to make time for it. This can be *hard*, especially if you have a demanding job, but even just a few minutes can make all the difference. We’ll get into creative time management soon.

Next week we’ll look at what’s keeping you from being happy and what you’re willing to let go to make room for the important things in your life.

4 comments:

readingwithaflashlight said...

Great article! Good thinking to make a list of goals and to prioritize them.

For me, my goals are:
1) Be a great wife and mother
2) Finish my masters
3) Finish a book
4) Publish that book
5) Repeat numbers 3 & 4 so that becomes my income

Suzanne Lazear said...

Those are great goals!!!

Mindy said...

My goals have become simpler as I became older. I've reached so many. I married an outstanding man. I achieved an Obedience Trial Champion with a dog I bred that isn't considered an obedience breed. I earned my MS, I published both lab manuals and journal articles. I own my own home, I have a unique job.

It leaves three goals:
1: To be healthy.

2: To clean up my book to check off my bucket list and toss in a drawer.

3. To destroy the dust bunnies that are currently nipping at my ankles. *Stares down at dust bunny as it inserts its fangs into my toes*

Suzanne Lazear said...

Mindy, that's a great list. ~hands you raygun to blast quantum vampiric dustbunnies~