I hear a lot about people writing "the book of their heart." Certainly I've written a couple of those. To me it means that you're writing a book that means a great deal to you. Perhaps it's something you've been working on for a long time. Perhaps it is a meaningful subject. Or was written at a trying time.
Recently I finished the "book of my soul."
There is so much of me in this book. Yet it's not me. I am not the character. This is not my story. The people in this book are not my friends and family. These specific events didn't happen to me. Some of the story is informed by real things, but 99% of it is made up to actually create an interesting story, There are a few real elements, but they are the usual small true events that often find their way into books because the truth can often be even stranger than fiction.
Yet the emotions are real. Very, very real.
It feels as if every word were written in my blood on paper made of my soul.
It took me six months to work up the courage to write it. When I started it, I wrote it in bits and pieces, often with long stretches in between. One scene near the beginning I skipped entirely and didn't write until the near end, which isn't the usual way I write. A couple of friends encouraged me to keep going. So I chipped away at it, a little at a time until I got so caught up in the story that there was no way I couldn't finish it.
It was difficult to write this book. So difficult.Yet at the same time it was freeing. Therapeutic.
Will I let anyone read it?
I don't know. Perhaps it's fear. Fear someone won't like a story made of my soul. Fear people will get angry because they'll think I'm writing about them (which I'm not, but you know people sometimes). Fear people won't like the subject.
But nevertheless, I'm glad I wrote this book, for this is a story that fiction or not, needed to be told.
At the very least for the sake of my soul.